Sleeping Persun of Better-Than-Average Attractiveness

Garner, James Finn. "Sleeping Persun of Better-Than-Average Attractiveness." Once Upon a More Enlightened Time: More Politically Correct Bedtime Stories. New York: MacMillan, 1995.

Having at this point read A LOT of Sleeping Beauty tales, I can honestly say that this short story was a welcome change! As in other versions, a frog predicts the conception, (the king and queen have been having difficulty conceiving a child) adding “Get some regular exercise, eat more greens and grains, and eliminate animal fat from your diet. Later, if you need one, I can recommend a good lactation consultant” (66). Amusing and up-to-date twists on the tale are found throughout the story. The first fairy blesses Rosamond with a good body image, another with good math skills, and so on. Finally, the thirteenth and uninvited fairy curses the baby: “May you grow up thinking you can’t be complete without a man, put unrealistic hopes of perfect and total happiness on your marriage, and become a bored, dissatisfied, and unfulfilled housewife” (68). The twelfth fairy softens the curse with the traditional spindle prick and hundred year sleep, adding, “By that time, perhaps men will be more evolved and your pain in finding a progressive, affirming lifemate will not be so great” (69). One hundred years later, a prince discovers the castle, believing he has stumbled upon a “top-notch meditation center” (72). He is very impressed with everyone’s ability to maintain their meditative state, particularly, Rosamond, who he wants for a teacher. She wakes up, but she does not want to be his teacher, she wants to be his princess. The story ends, “And so, with this standoff, the prophesies of the 12th sister of sorcery, as well as those of the 13th, were fulfilled” (75).

I think anyone with some background knowledge of traditional fairy tales and a sense of humor will be entertained by this little book. I included a review from someone who wasn’t as impressed with the book as me, however, to show varying viewpoints.

Click here to read a review of this book.

Leaping Beauty

Maguire, Gregory. "Leaping Beauty." Leaping Beauty: And Other Animal Fairy Tales. New York: HarperCollins, 2004.

This short story is part of the book with the same name. Beauty is a frog whose parents are king and queen. At her birth party, bumblebees and butterflies give the young frog wonderful gifts, but the fun is stopped by a mean old hornet, angry for having not been invited to the party. Old Dame Hornet says to Beauty, “Before your first birthday you shall bite down on a stray explosive from some stupid human engineering project, and you shall blow yourself to smithereens!” The beetles, who have not yet given their gift to Beauty, soften this curse by saying that although she will indeed bite down on this explosive, she will not blow up, but instead cry in pain, and will be called “Weeping Beauty.” Old Dame Hornet liked her curse better, but is still pleased, saying, “Well, crying all the time, that’s pretty bad too” (funny statements like this are enjoyed throughout the story). Sure enough, the curse comes true, but the king and queen have a plan of their own. They bring the loudly crying Beauty to the bottom of the tree where Old Dame Hornet lives, and she eventually can’t stand the constant crying another second. She consults with the bishop of the beetles, who says he will fix the spell if she apologizes to Beauty and promises to never hurt her. Still resentful, the hornet goes to see if the baron of the butterflies will help her instead, and he changes the spell from “weeping” to “sleeping.” She falls right to sleep, but unfortunately for Old Dame Hornet, she snores, and loudly! Unable to bear the noise, the hornet pays a visit to the boss of the bumblebees, who agrees to change the spell from “sleeping” to “leaping,” in exchange for a date with Old Dame. However, when this spell was broken, the “weeping” spell was reinstated. When Old Dame Hornet cannot take it anymore, she finally apologizes and promises to never harm Beauty. Beauty grows up to become a ballerina and all live happily ever after.

This was a delightful read. It was very entertaining on many levels, and I think children as well as adults will really get a kick out of this book. Click here to read a review of this book.

Ruby Slippers, Golden Tears

Datlow, Ellen and Terri Windling, eds. Ruby Slippers, Golden Tears. New York: Avon, 1996.

This book contains three twists on the Sleeping Beauty tale, which I will discuss separately:

“Summer Wind” by Nancy Kress presents what it might have been like had the spell taken hold of everyone in the castle EXCEPT for Beauty, who instead has to live in real time while everyone around her has frozen stiff. Bored to tears, Briar Rose still talks to the frozen people although they cannot hear her, cleans, and makes new clothing for everyone. Princes come and go, but of course none are ever able to make their way through the deadly briars. All the while, she is aging, as she has not been affected by the spell. She often hears the whispers of old women, whom she joins at the end of the story, when everyone else comes back to life. These women, apparently magical in some way, tell her, “You have seen, as few do, what and who you are. But Rose is ungrateful for her experience: “I would rather have had lost my life” (67).

“The Crossing” by Joyce Carol Oates tells the story of a woman in a coma, unaware of her state, whose dreams bring her to the place of an intended visit. This visit will never really happen, as she was involved in a train crash on her way to see her aunt in upstate New York. Martha never realizes she is dreaming, although she is often bewildered by the strange feelings she is having. The saddest part of the story is how her husband sits dutifully by her side, never giving up hope that she will wake up. There does seem to be a connection between the things he says to her and her dreams, suggesting that people in comas are somewhat aware of what is going on around them, although they do not realize it. When Martha, in her dream state, gets on board a train at the place her accident occurred, she dies, and her husband is left to feel intense guilt as she was alone at the time. But I think she probably wasn’t able to die with him there; you hear about this sort of thing a lot.

“Waking the Prince” by Kathe Koja tells two stories in one. One tale is of a prince in a real coma, whether this is the result of some sort of spell is never shared, while the other “prince” is very much awake but still inattentive to his girlfriend Cissy and unaware of or indifferent to the promises he makes. The latter story was effective, demonstrating how women often try to make their boyfriends into something they are not, putting them on an undeserved pedestal. I think that maybe by using the parallel story, the author was trying to make it clear that her inspiration came from a fairy tale. However, in this collection, that wasn’t really necessary, as that is the idea behind every story in the book. I was happy to see the main character Cissy finally break up with her undeserving prince. She was blinded to his insincerity for a while because he was outwardly attractive, but in the end she was able to let him and her imagined fairy tale ending go.

After taking this course I can see that I will really enjoy reading books such as this that draw on fairy tales for their inspiration. It really is amazing, the unlimited creative opportunities fairy tales offer.

Click here to read a review of this book.

Charm

Block, Francesca Lia. "Charm." The Rose and the Beast: Fairy Tales Retold. New York: Harper Collins, 2000.

Click here to visit the author's official site.

This Sleeping Beauty Tale uses a syringe instead of a spindle, and heroin instead of a fairy’s curse. Rev, asleep only in the way that she thinks her soul is dead, has lived a life of abuse, drugs, and forced pornography and sex. It isn’t until she visits the home of the actress Miss Charm, who witnesses her being raped, that anyone steps in and tries to help her. There is something very familiar about this woman, but Rev has erased many of her memories because they are too painful. Miss Charm lets Rev stay and get better, helping her through her difficult detox and caring for her in a way that no one has ever cared for her before. Days later, Rev discovers Miss Charm crying as she looks at a pornographic picture of two little girls. It turns out that the two little girls in the picture were the young Rev and Miss Charm; this is why she had been so familiar. The story ends, “When Charm kissed her, Rev felt as if all the fierce blossoms were shuddering open. The castle was opening. She felt as if the other woman were breathing into her body something long lost and almost forgotten. It was, she knew, the only drug either of them would need now” (97).

I know this is a modernization of a fairy tale, and fairy tales are make believe, but something about the at-home detox rubbed me the wrong way. Heroin addicts need to be hospitalized and detoxed by professionals, and major therapy and rehabilitation are necessary; drug addiction isn’t simply cured by kindness and love. In general I have a problem with what seems like a glamorization of drug abuse, and I can see that in this story. I appreciate this story because I do find it a very creative way to adapt the Sleeping Beauty tale, but I guess I worry about the message it might send about drugs, as it is a book marketed to young adults.

Click here to read a review of this book.